Tag Archives: banana peels

Watchout! Who’s watching you?

2.22.18.culvercity

Spotted on February 22 in Culver City

Many people ask me for urban safety tips. I’m flattered by the attention and often feel obligated to provide an answer, though I don’t feel fully qualified to speak authoritatively on the subject. As a result, I often invent answers based on what I think the person wants to hear.

Recently a young man inquired about the best way to know if someone is watching him. I imparted my most useful piece of wisdom – to ALWAYS check the bushes. Shortly afterward, he sent me the following image, with a note of thanks for saving his life. Apparently this peel had been watching him for weeks, waiting outside his work. And thanks to me, he was able to have it removed. He offered to send me a box of Bosc pears in appreciation. I told him that it was the least I could do, and I don’t like pears, but a small donation would be appreciated.

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Watchout! Viaduct Vulture

2.16.18.rosebud

February 16, under the viaduct.

It was two days after Valentine’s Day when I went for a late night walk under the maze of freeways near my home. I always wear a costume, for safety purposes (I’ve learned that during late night walks, it’s best to be the scariest looking person in the vicinity). It usually sends people running the opposite direction, but I met my match under the viaduct- this horrid thing, shamelessly staring me down.

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Watchout! Bruised and Angry

Beware of individuals with outsized egos. You may run into them at bars and pubs, commanding attention. They may appear impressive at first, but like a pustule or boil, they are simply inflated, and pop with the merest touch. I spotted the detritus of a popped ego on a recent evening in Atwater Village.  This one didn’t even last past happy hour.

Spotted on a rainy night in Atwater Village.

Spotted on a rainy night in Atwater Village.

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Watchout! Organic Waste

When walking in the city, one must always be on the lookout for organic waste. It comes in many forms, most of which are too disgusting to describe here. You’ve all seen it, stepped in it, etc.  Usually organic waste is unceremoniously dumped on the ground, but here it is actually labeled with an “organic” sticker.

Also note the peel fragments masquerading as leaves, and the dental pick in the background. Dental picks are another all-too-common sight on the city streets.

Organic Waste

Spotted on Bush Street in January

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Watchout! Sad sacks

I spotted these sad sacks while walking in the Richmond district over the holidays. It was a stunning winter day, with no fog in the forecast. Yet these poor peels were acting like the world was about to end. Sadly, for them, it might be true…For what is a peel but an empty shell? Maybe that’s why they lash out at anyone unlucky enough to cross their paths.

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