Category Archives: watchoutbananapeel

Watchout! Evil Reflections

Miss Julie was just trying to mail a letter. She walked down to the post office, clutching the envelope in her fist. Inside was a thank-you card she’d been meaning to mail for months, to a work acquaintance who had given her a novelty mug for her birthday.

The writing of the card was a saga of its own. She spent weeks weeks halfheartedly reminding herself to buy a card at Walgreens, and waking up nights with a pang of guilt at her ungratefulness, especially since she used the mug every day for her morning coffee. She had been to Walgreens before to search for a card, and several times had abandoned the aisle after failing to find the perfect one. The classic flowered cards were all so boring, but the edgier ones risked missing the mark, and the fancy ones were too expensive…

Finally, on August 6, she forced herself to just pick one. It was a classic thank you card with a drawing of a vase of flowers, and the words “Thank You” curlicued around it. Proud of herself, she paid $4.99 (an acceptable price), wrote the card hastily and dropped it in the mailbox at the post office. On her way out, she narrowly missed this horrifying specter lying in wait at the curb, its evil reflection glimmering in the mirrored bumper of a parked car.

She avoided disaster and headed home. Later that afternoon, she remembered with a pang that she had forgotten to thank her frenemy Gail for her birthday gift, a tangerine-scented candle that had scented her bathroom nicely for a couple of months. She vowed to get the card the very next day.

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Watchout! Bad Camouflage

On a lovely March day, our local peel aficionado, Jane put on her new shoes and stepped out of her pied-a-terre into the big city. She was on her way to visit friends for a picnic lunch of moules and escargot. Lost in thought, she glanced down at her lovely new shoes, and recoiled at this unappetizing mess, attempting to camouflage itself among the yellow safety lines in the crosswalk. Sacrilege! She notified watchoutbananapeel, and went on to the picnic.

Later that spring, a similar cluster of slimy street serpents lay in wait next to a safety cone. The nerve!

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March 23, Chestnut & Powell. Crosswalk.

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May 22, Broadway & Grant. Construction zone.

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Watchout! Mysterious Vanishing

On May 29, a man named Boris chewed the last pulpy bite of his overripe banana and dropped the peel on the sidewalk. Immediately afterward, he vanished in a puff of smoke. Jane was on the scene and happened to catch the aftermath with her phone camera. Her haunting image captures Boris’s favorite Giants cap, its inner brim still soiled with Boris’s facial grime, lying beside the scorched peel.

Some experts say that this confirms rumors that the peels have started developing sophisticated technology to broaden their powers. Their leaders have long craved the ability to attack rather than just lying in wait. Was Boris the first of many to come?

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The victim vanished from the bus stop.

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Watchout! Marina Mess

Several of watchoutbananapeel’s most watchful vigilantes live in San Francisco. Today we’d like to pay tribute to Jane, whose selfless reporting has warned the public about dozens of peels over the years. Recently she spotted a nasty scene in the Marina District.

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The severed pieces lay horribly where they’d fallen.

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The sighting triggered a memory of this  shocking scene, spotted back in March of 2017.

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Watchout! Slimy train track lurker

Traveling is a disorienting experience. One minute you’re in one spot, and suddenly you’re someplace else. It’s even worse in the dark, when you can’t even see where you’re going. That’s why I always walk backwards at night, so no one can sneak up behind me. Last weekend, a sharp-eyed Californian named D. spotted this lurker in the dark, alarmingly close to the tracks.
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