Category Archives: watchoutbananapeel

Watchout! Broken Promises

Jeanette’s dad was suspicious of Lex. “There’s something furtive about that guy,” he said to his wife after Lex picked their daughter up for a date. “He’s always on time, always so polite. What gives?”

“That’s because he’s a thoughtful young man,” said Jeanette’s mom as she chewed her spaghetti. “He wants to make a good impression. You could have learned a few lessons from him back in the day.”

“Well I’m glad you’re so easily impressed,” Jeanette’s father grunted. He reached for the salt.

“Lucky for you, I’ve always been easily impressed,” Jeanette’s mom. Her gentle barbs always came from the heart.

Meanwhile, Lex took Jeanette out for ice cream, where they got banana splits with an extra banana to go. He peeled it carefully and shared it with her as they strolled under the moonlight. Jeanette squealed with excitement as they passed by a freshly poured slab of concrete on the sidewalk.

“Don’t look,” said Lex as he used the flat wooden ice cream spoon to etch his devotion into the ground.

“True love means always sharing your banana,” he stood proudly to reveal his message.

Jeanette examined his work. “My name has one N, not two,” she said.

Some things are meant to last forever, while others fizzle.

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Watchout! California Dreams

His mother would have remarked on the matching blue of the bottle cap and the Scratcher®.

“California, here I come, right back where I started from…” the man sang softly as he shuffled down the sidewalk. It was one of those sparkling early-summer afternoons — the ones his mother used to call “Peek-a-Boos” — when Summer peels back the curtain of fog and does a little dance before vanishing for another month of June Gloom. The man had shaken a few coins from his gallon bottle piggy bank and used them to buy a Scratcher® from the dilapidated corner store, and there was hope in his heart as he used the bottle cap to scratch off the numbers. His mother always said there was something special about him, and that knowledge had lodged deep in his unconscious, giving him the strength to persevere no matter what obstacles appeared in front of him. Today, the obstacle was a banana peel segment, lying stringy-side up amidst a scattering of melon seeds, its phloem bundles exposed to the elements. He bent to look closer and observed that despite these indignities, the flayed fruit maintained a mostly fresh appearance, from its bright whort to its green-tipped crown. He smiled, reassured by its resilience, but did not notice as his ticket slipped out of his pocket and fluttered to the ground, where it remained until street cleaning day.

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Watchout! Local Menace

On a relatively recent Friday morning, local resident Miss X was seeking to escape the constant screech of a neighbor’s hacksaw, she fled to the other side of the hill, where she sipped a cappuccino and watched the cars trundle past. Little did she know that a horrifying specter cast a disturbing shadow on the asphalt just around the corner. Its malice fueled by a failed attack on a cyclist, the thing waited, motionless, lying in wait for its next victim. Thankfully, Miss X arrived in time to warn the public.

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Watchout! Sidewalk Slumper

Longtime readers will know that Jane is one of our most vigilant and valuable citizens, with many peel credits to her name. While pounding the pavement recently, she came across a shocking scene in an otherwise attractive and well-maintained curbside succulent patch. This speckled specimen was already teetering on the wrong side of spoiled when it was peeled and its skin discarded. Now it lies where it fell, genuflecting to passersby, though whether in deference or spite, we will never know.

Watchout! All Trash, No Treasure

The travelers set out at dusk. The road to the restaurant was broken and strewn with obstacles. Bright lights outside the 99-cent store illuminated detritus best left in darkness. These lights were installed by local entities concerned about safety, to make the street appear more inviting, and to reduce unfortunate incidents and accidents that make customers wary. This worked for a time. But soon the peels became more brazen, and were no longer ashamed to show themselves in their true form. Watchout!