The suspect: Oliver Teeger, age 24. Wanted for feeding the mosquito larvae, with intent to raise a cloud of mosquitoes. Captured on November 8 by an abandoned trough of stagnant rainwater.
STILL AT LARGE: Unknown suspect, wanted for picking apples in the king’s orchard. Dresses in rags.
One of these is a “land anenome,” a rare flower that blooms only once in a thousand years, and when plucked, seeps a serum that heals all wounds. The other one is an invasive weed that stinks up the garden. Can you tell which one is which?
They met a few weeks ago at a local jukebox. Lately they can be spotted walking around Filnecker Street in the afternoons.
A long time ago, there was a Birdman who lived in a nearby town. He was not technically caged, but his debts kept him in a kind of prison. Nor was he technically a bird — he was a 38-year old man, nicknamed the Birdman, who favored birdseed and chirping. Well, this Birdman got home from work one day to find that his centipedes had all escaped! Winter was approaching, so this was a dreadful discovery. All that hoarding, for nothing! He called up a friend, who advised him to calm down.
That night, unable to sleep, he tossed and turned. He remembered fastening the centipedes’ jar lid tightly that morning. He knew he had. So how had they gotten out? And then he realized — someone must have released them on purpose! And who else, but his roommate Francis! Francis hated the centipedes — he rarely missed a chance to say so. So the Birdman knew just what to do. He went to the refrigerator and, in a frenzy, consumed a half-gallon container– Francis’s entire supply — of rice pudding. It was surprisingly delicious! More delicious than centipedes. The Birdman was pleased, and went to the store to replenish the empty container and buy enough rice pudding to last for the entire winter. He forgot all about the centipedes, but they did not forget about him, and their history books dubbed the occasion “The Great Escape”.
watchoutbananapeel 