This morning at approximately 4:17 AM, several residents of Happy Valley called into the local radio station, KUGH, to report strange activity in the sky. It soon became clear that this was no ordinary UFO sighting. A local artist was called in to sketch their descriptions:

Kathy Richards, 62, first described the unidentified object as “a huge head with a curly tail.” When pressed, she detailed its bushy eyebrows and tumorous chin.

Gus Yates, 35, was the only city resident to report a sighting. Having spied the creature through his bathroom window, he only caught a glimpse, but noted its shrill cry.

Lena and Lyle Trask gave the most detailed description. The couple, who both work the early shift at a dairy, were walking to work when the creature swooped down. “At first I thought it was our friend Hugh the owl, so I was surprised when I saw the face,” Lena reported. Added Lyle, “It was the flying head of a man in his late sixties or early seventies. It wasn’t anybody I knew.”